Will a doula replace my partner in labor?
A lot of people wonder, “Will a doula replace my partner in labor?”
Short answer: NO!
Doulas “read the room” and check in with partners as well as birthing people to see what they need during labor and birth. In prenatal sessions, doulas get to know birthing persons and their partners so that when it’s “game time,” we’re on the same page. We understand a birthing person’s and partner’s motivations and philosophies, comfort zones, and concerns. We also know what it looks like if you’re not okay and what to do if you’re not okay, based on your preferences.
During the labor process, a birthing person’s partner may need any range of things:
reassurance
explanations of what is happening or happening next
encouragement to ask medical providers a clarifying question
acknowledgement and validation of feelings
someone staying with them if a baby goes to the nursery or NICU, or they are not allowed in the OR
someone keeping them as calm as possible
education about newborn care procedures
Doulas also know when and how to “get out of the way” so that partners can do what they’re comfortable doing-- whether it’s providing massage, counter pressure or holding their laboring partner’s hand.
Doulas make sure partners have what they need to be their best selves during labor and birth-- perhaps a breath of fresh air, a quick walk to regroup, a bite to eat, or some rest.
How would you like a doula to support you and your partner? If you’ve had a doula, how did they support you and your partner?
Reach Out!
Thinking about having a labor doula? Want to learn more about how doulas work with birthing persons and their partners? Schedule a call with Boston Area Doulas.
About the Author: Kathleen Stern, the founder of Boston Area Doulas, is a certified infant feeding specialist, and labor and postpartum doula. She believes in the power of support, connection, increasing access to resources and increasing one’s confidence in parenthood. She lives in Boston with her two girls and husband.
